Top 5 Songs of 2010

If you look back at my obligatory introduction, you'll see that one of the many topics I envision covering on this blog is music. I haven't gotten any chance to explore that part of pop-culture here (same as comic books, which is also mentioned in the introduction), so I figured there's no better time to finally do so then as a part of my Year Endies set of lists. That's right--it's time for my Top 5 Songs of 2010.

I feel nearly hesitant to even produce such a list. I vehemently stand by my belief that modern music is equivalent to horse excrement and that quality music died during the turn of the new millennium.

Case in point.

However, every year I continue to be astonished by the select catalog of actually good music. Half the time I'm nearly embarrassed to admit it, especially when the songs are in genres that I frankly bitch about. Be they rap, or pop, or whatever. That's not to say that in general modern music isn't dreadful, particularly in comparison to the "Golden Days" of music in the 20th Century, but there are still those actually producing good music these days, and no matter how hard I try and forget this to defend my status on modern music, there's still quite a few triumphs out there.

5. "Fuck You!" by Cee Lo Green

Cee Lo Green, whoever the hell you are, THANK YOU. Thank you for bringing soul back to a generation of Beliebers and California Gurls. Thank you for writing a song about getting rejected that isn't mournful or deep. And thank you for making a really bitching song in the form of "Fuck You!"

"Fuck You!" (or "Forget You!", "F**k You!", "F You!", "Fox News!") is a soul song from Cee Lo Green, some guy I've never heard of but (as stated) I am very thankful for. It explores Cee Lo getting rejected in his attempts to enchant a cute girl, and expresses his anguish in the most cheerful, profane way possible. It's like if Al Green had turrets, but in a really good way. Lyrically, it's outstanding, with clever hooks, inventive rhymes, and actually really nice uses of its profanity, while there's a catchy sound to it and Cee Lo delivers outstanding range and pitch. It all adds up to this incredible sense of liveliness and exuberance. And seriously--IT'S A 21st CENTURY SOUL SONG THAT'S ACTUALLY MAINSTREAM. I love this world sometimes. "Fuck You!" is fucking awesome.



4. "Tighten Up" by The Black Keys

Like Cee Lo Green above, I've never heard of The Black Keys, but I'm truly thankful for them for bringing quality incarnations of old genres (in this case, blues rock) into the mainstream. Their 2010 hit, "Tighten Up", is a top-notch piece of work that flew high this year, peaking at number 1 on the Alternative Rock charts.

"Tighten Up"'s lyrical basis is simple--it's about love, young and old, and your desperation for it--but The Black Keys are able to breath new life into it. The best part of this song is its sound; drummer Patrick Carney and guitarist Dan Auerbach combine to form a garage-style mix of noise that's psychedelic while remaining true to its blues core. Auerbach is an impressive vocalist, truly evocative of the intensity of blues artists like Robert Johnson. I hope these types of songs continue to slip into mainstream, because some nice nostalgia splattered on Billboard is appreciated for us stubborn folks who most of the time want to "turn off that racket!!"

3. "Power" by Kanye West

Stupid Kanye West. Being a complete douchebag that I hate, being apart of a stupid genre of music that I hate...And then pulling out Goddamn MASTERPIECES, like the entirety of his 2010 album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy and the single from it, "Power."

"Power" is a simply beautiful song; West uses its lyrics to brilliantly convey a self-deprecating message about how much of a douchebag he is ("I'm livin' in the 21st century, doin' something mean to it") and how hated he is ("And they say I was the abomination of Obama's nation / Well, that's a pretty bad way to start a conversation"). I despised how much I loved this song, because it's rap and I hate rap, and it's hip and modern and I hate hip and modern, and it's freaking Kanye West and I hate freaking Kaye West (at least, as a human being).

But "Power" is just so entrancing, so beautifully theatrical, so powerful (boooooo~), it's irresistible. The entirety of "Power" is backed by a chorus of clapping women chanting "Aaaah eh eh", and sliced with samples of King Crimson's "21st Schitzoid Man", Continent Number 6's "Afromerica", and Cold Gits' "It's Your Thing", all while filtering a sort of twisted apology/reflection from Kanye West. It's the most ambitious song of the year and it comes together so perfectly. "I guess every superhero needs his theme music"; which ends up blowing up my expectations of hip hop and becoming a beautifully crafted, ambitious work of ark. You win this round Kanye West.

(I accompanied this entry with the mesmerizing music video for the song, but that's actually only 2 minutes of it, so here's the song in its entirety)

2. "Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)" by My Chemical Romance

My Chemical Romance is a band I'm sometimes embarrassed to say is one of my favorites, mainly because people have this silly assertion that they are a prime figure in the "emo" movement. That's not true though. 

The evolution of MCR's musical styling is astonishing--they began with songs that, yes, exemplify the masses' interpretation of emoism, but slowly but surely the band grew more creative, and their music became varying renditions of rock, pop, grunge, even ragtime, and now, punk. Their 2010 album Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys is the essentially the new American Idiot--it's a theatrical story that borders on a rock opera oozing with punk awesomeness. A polarizing listen, some songs border on hit-or-miss territory, but what this album succeeds best at are its energetically charged fast punk ballads, like its single "Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)".

"Na Na Na" is one of MCR's finest pieces; its lyrics are wild and eclectic, its sound is phenomenal with excellent instrumental work from all members of the band, and washes away all previous interpretations of the band's misinterpreted dark image by producing a loud punk anthem for the ages. There's blistering guitar riffs, the classically snide delivery of Gerard Way, and a beautifully orchestrated arena-filled chanting of the titular na's. "Na Na Na" is an incredible change of pace for MCR, but it's all apart of the band's sense of growth as musicians, and yet it maintains an in-your-face attitude that's like something off of '90s MTV. It's rebellious and genius, like MCR themselves.

And finally, number one...

1. "Cousins" by Vampire Weekend

I hesitated putting this as number one, because I felt as if it was cheating; "Cousins" was released as a single in 2009, but its actual album was released in January of 2010. So basically the single release was a "preview" of the album, so it still counts as a 2010 song and I can continue this post without any guilt strings dragging me down.

"Cousins" is a song from Vampire Weekend, an indie band you might know as "those guys who did the 'Holiday' song for the Honda commercials" (the inclusion of which ruined that song for me). You know that old saying "toe-tapping"? This is it, baby, in all its glory. "Cousins" is ridiculously fast, loud, and unbelievably tightly written. It's electrifying, engrossing, and happy. You come into "Cousins" unknowing of how much joy shall be released onto you by the time it's over; right off the bat it explodes in an eclectic mix of insanely-fast drum beats and insanely-fast guitar riffs. 

In the end, the lyrical meaning of the song would be almost pointless in the sum of its parts (and fittingly, its a celebration of effortless hipsterism) because it's so tightly written and so exuberantly intentioned that the only plausible interpretation of its purpose is to entice you with pure, unbridled, electrifying glee. Music has always been a form of expression, and like most forms of pop-culture its intention is to take you out of reality and make you feel better about yourself; "Cousins" goes one step beyond. It slams your jaw to the floor, then reassembles it before it slits a massive smile onto your face. It's a perfect song in every and exemplifies quality, modern music.

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As usual, this is all my opinion, so please don't flame me for having it. Maybe you've heard this songs, maybe you haven't, in which case I'm happy that I've introduced you to them, as they're all brilliant pieces from a generation where music has hit a rut. Next up is the conclusion of my Year Endies set: "Top 10 Films of 2010". See you then.

Top 5 TV Shows of 2010

And after a particularly smelly month-long-hiatus, "...And You Smell Like One Too" is back (in black). And ya know folks, I really love this time of year. Not just because there's the wonderfully cheery sense of Christmastime and holiday spirit, or the plethora of holiday specials to sink my teeth in. But because this is the time when we look back and review this year in any aspect we want. And since this is a pop-culture blog, that means I get to follow the leader and present my "year-endies" (to steal from The Rotten Tomatoes Show), better known as my Top 5 Whatever of 2010!

"And there was much rejoicing." "Yaaaaaay."

Yes, this is just an excuse for me to list things (an admitted easier thing to do than articles and review), but in a time when the new Yogi Bear movie actually exists, Glenn Beck is alive, and Spider-Man actors are falling from the sky in greater numbers than rain, we need some basic structure. It's been a big year for television: Glee dominated the world with an iron fist (while singing "I've Got the Whole World in My Hands" I presume), Betty White appeared in just about everything, etc. So I figure what better place to start a year-endie set of lists than with my personal Top 5 TV Shows of 2010.

5. The Rotten Tomatoes Show (Current TV)

Here was an exquisite find I found one day early this year while flipping through channels; I can say that the majority of people who are reading this, or perhaps stumbled upon it, might have never even heard of this show. Like its title suggests, The Rotten Tomatoes Show is a television series spun off from the popular internet review aggregator RottenTomatoes.com. Naturally, it's a review show, and for a long time during 2010, the only one on television. 

Think At the Movies meets Saturday Night Live, the show was a clever, hilarious, vibrant commentary on cinema. The hosts, Ellen Fox and Brett Erlich, are astonishingly remarkable, embodying personas that seem to be a mix between their actual personalities and scripted exaggerations, all while maintaining a charming chemistry. Throughout 2010, The Rotten Tomatoes Show went from the bottom of the barrel to the tippity top, providing well-thought out, hilarious commentary on films that came out that week. Intertwining all this were snazzy segments ranging from sketches to Top 5 lists (metaaaa~), all bolstered by surprisingly sharp one-liners that would otherwise seem forced and derivative had they not been delivered by charming leads and polished by a hairbrained but brilliant writing staff.

2010 was an interesting year for The Rotten Tomatoes Show: originally featuring webcam reviews sent in from viewers, online critics, and independent filmmakers mixed in with Brett and Ellen's own reviews in a hyper-edited ensemble sequence, somewhere about half-way through the season, the show decided to change the format. Now, it would review films a week before they came out, i.e., from their viewpoints as critic screenings. Thus, webcam reviews were removed and all reviewers were professional critics. Needless to say, fans bitched a lot.

But they all jeered their bitchings (and rightfully so) to a new development: the unannounced, unexplained canning of the show. In the last 1 minute of their "The Town, I'm Still Here, & Easy A" episode, Brett and Ellen casually announced the episode was the last of the show and that it was now being transferred over to Current TV's other (and now only) non-news program (though technically it's still a satirical news show), infoMania. RUINED FOREVER didn't even cut it; this new segment was atrocious, abridged to now freaking end, and a mind-boggling move on Current TV's part. Luckily, they grew some brains and released 3-minute review-only episodes of the show on On Demand and the internet. It's not the same, but it's better than the alternative.

The Rotten Tomatoes Show had a stellar, if controversial, run in 2010, supplying the boob tube a funny, quick-paced romp through movies. Truly a case of Too Good To Last at its saddest.

BEST 2010 EPISODE: "Alice in Wonderland, Stolen, & Brooklyn's Finest" (March 12, 2010) - Featuring (duh) reviews of Alice in Wonderland, Stolen, and Brooklyn's Finest, this episode showed RT at its finest--sharp, clever writing, a smartly analytical ensemble review (including one of Stolen, the only movie in the whole show's history to have a 0% Tomatoemeter rating, the announcement of which leads to a classically deadpan "Wow" from Brett), and a cavalcade of good segments. Classic lines are littered throughout this episode (such as Brett's "...or you can watch us on TV, because staring at us through our window all night--while flattering--is getting creepy"), plus a fascinating Favorite Films list from Stanely Tucci, a sketch featuring Brett as a judge declaring if actors known prominently for playing good guys make a solid turn into a villain role, and a hilarious cutaway to Ellen giving a toast at a wedding.

4. Futurama (Comedy Central)

Futurama ended its run in 2003, during its fourth season (as so many things are on FOX do), but the cult bravado of the science fiction comedy elevated the show to slowly rise from the grave. In 2008, the first of four direct-to-DVD Futurama movies began to be released, encompassing what became the fifth production season of the show. Fans cheered, but not as much as in 2010, when Comedy Central effectively brought Futurama back onto the airwaves. ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD COMEDY CENTRAL!

This new season of Futurama was spectacular. The show is, and has always been, like the early days of The Simpsons--consistently funny, yet still retaining an enormous heart and several poignant moments. The 2010 season was no different, featuring hysterical jokes, the characters that we known and love, and all the heartwarming, character-driven moments that lend the show to their success. The animation, provided by Rough Draft Studios, is stellar, even better than the days of old; especially now that the show is broadcast in HD.

Futurama's plots this season were twisty, trippy, and complicated--and deliciously so. Always interesting and unpredictable to watch, the show offered a healthy balance of comedy and character-driven, heartwarming moments. The show's a bit more edgy now that it's on cable, but that actually allows it for the show to be creatively more daring and explore new, risque plots (such as an entire episode where Leela and Zapp's private parts are covered only by small leaves). It's hilarious, unpredictable, trippy, and heartwarming, all at once.

BEST 2010 EPISODE: "The Late Phillip J. Fry" (July 29, 2010): One of the things Futurama does best, like I said above, in balancing its insane, science-fiction-based comedy with genuine heart and honest character moments. "The Late Phillip J. Fry" is this season's most triumphant example of this; Fry, due to circumstances usually beyond his control, keeps showing up late to his dates with Leela. This escalates even further when he, Bender, and Professor Farnsworth become entrapped in time when going in the Professor's new time machine that only travels forward into time. What results is a beautiful, heartwarming meditation, filled with stunning visuals, thought-provoking observations on the universe, funny jokes not at the expense of the story's tone, and creative plotting. It's one of Futurama's most mesmerizing episodes, and when we're discussing this show (and this season) that's saying something.  

3. Louie (FX)

 

It's a concept that sounds a lot like Seinfeld (New York comedian playing a characture of himself book ended by the titular comedian's stand-up routine) and a credits list rivaling a Tommy Wiseau film (starring, written by, directed by, and edited by Louis C.K.), but FX's Louie is greater than anything you could put on paper. 

Labeled as a sitcom starring and almost entirely hemmed by comedian Louis C.K., the series actually turned out to be more like a set of short films exploring deep, personal topics like death, religion, humanity, mortality, and life, while still being really damn hysterical. C.K. plays himself, an aging New York stand-up comic raising two little girls on his own while trying to find a happy medium between a good relationship with his kids and a decent sex life.

On display throughout Louie's debut 2010 season is a touching, hilarious portrait of self; it's a cringe-inducing, sometimes vulgar, always funny look on life told through the eyes of a stand-up comic. It's a no-budget series that consistently delivers laughs, all while showing C.K. toying with the craft, finding new ways to balance acrid depictions of his interactions with others with bleak, yet somewhat poignant, self-deprecation, all while providing consistently funny jokes, during the spectrum of both his stand-up and vignettes.  

The first season of Louie consisted of 13 episodes, all airing rather late at night, and usually only being viewed by under 1 million viewers. It's a small show, yes, with a small audience, yes, but the impression it leaves is visceral; it's filled with non-stop laughter, and also a touch of beauty and poignancy. 

BEST 2010 EPISODE: "Heckler/Cop Movie" (July 27, 2010) - In the first vignette, Louis viciously verbally attacks a truly atrocious audience member (the titular "heckler"), and in the second, he submits to his late agent's last request that he perform in a remake of The Godfather directed by Mathew Brodrick. This episode offered a consistent stream of laughs, with a hilariously ironic ending to "Heckler" with Louis realizing that he almost had a chance to bone the heckler, but the majority of glory comes from the "Cop Movie" segment. From C.K.'s agent insanely loud insistence that Louis does the movie, to the mere concept of the remake of The Godfather (where "they're all Jews"), to Louis's impossibly bad performance in the movie. It was Louie at its funniest, and while not quite as deep as episodes like "Bully" or "God", this set featured a comedic level not many shows can measure up to.

2. Phineas and Ferb (Disney XD)

I know what you're thinking: A Disney Channel show, a children's card game cartoon on your list of the Top 5 TV Shows of 2010? Surely you can't be serious! Well I am serious. And don't call me 'Shirley.'

I'm sure people have told you about this show before: Two step brothers (the titular Phineas and Ferb) are on summer vacation and decide to do reality-defying acts to stretch the most out of their vacation. Meanwhile, their sister, Candace, tries to tattle on them to their mother, who always arrives just too late to witness the boys' in the act, and the family's domesticated platypus Perry is secretly a spy fighting the maniacal yet incompetent Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

I'm also sure that if you've heard about this show, you know how unbelievably good it is. In the vein of '90s cartoon classics like Animaniacs and Freakazoid!, Phineas and Ferb is not actually made for kids. It's made for anyone who's watching, but chooses to not exclude children that are technically the program's demographics. The show is astonishingly smart, witty, and hilarious--any given episode will contain copious amounts of pop-culture references, satire, crap-getting-past-the-radar, and several other things that will (being unable to avoid the cliched term) soar right over kids' heads. All the while packing in likable, memorable characters and impossibly catchy original songs.

2010 was a great year for the show: continuing what is approaching to be aHOLY SHITthree-year-long second season, Phineas and Ferb returned after a brief two month hiatus following the spectacular Christmas special, "Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation". Every episode this year packed a solid punch, delivering on the laughs, joy, and clever animation that we've been expecting. The songs might have had a bumpy road this season, varying from weak to orgasmically epic. It all accumulated with stellar special guest appearances from the likes of Seth MacFarlane, Ben Stiller, Clay Aiken, Chaka Khan, amongst others, increased publicity, a Daytime Emmy Award, and some of the best episodes in the show's broadcast history.

It's a smart show, a hilarious, witty show that's formulaic and yet mind-bogglingly creative and unpredictable, off-the-wall yet stylishly grounded, satirical and almost edgy, colorful, bright, fun...There are 104 days of Summer vacation, and you'll want to spend every day with Phineas and Ferb.

BEST 2010 EPISODE: "Nerds of a Feather" (August 16, 2010) - I border on considering this the single finest installment of the series in its run. "Nerds of a Feather" features the boys attending a science-fiction/fantasy convention in hopes of meeting a their idol, special effects guru (Kevin Smith). Instead, they get caught in midst between a acrid feud between sci-fi fans and fantasy fans. The results are beyond hysterical; scattered throughout are sharp parodies of everything the two genres have to offer, including even a reference to the quality of Star Trek films (evens=good, odds=bad, sans Nemesis [even, but bad] and Star Trek [odd, but great]). There's also a subplot featuring Doofenshmirtz pitching a '70s-cop-esque TV show to an executive producer (Seth MacFarlane) starring himself and Perry. It's something so outstanding you have to see it to believe it. The entire episode is loaded with great satire, hilarious gags both visual and verbal, and fantastic songs.

1. Community (NBC)

The best show on television (according to me), Community, holds such a title for many reasons. For one thing, like many shows on this list, it surpasses the restrictions of quality of its premise. Like a probably-superior Best 2010 TV Shows list from The A.V. Club noted, it's "better suited to a 90-minute Adam Sandler movie than a TV show". Instead, it's a hilarious, heartwarming show that's incredibly character-driven and not afraid to take risks. For another, it's got probably the single most perfect ensemble on television who breathe life into their ingeniously crafted characters. 

And perhaps, most importantly: It's really, really, really funny. 

In the show, a thirtysomething lawyer named Jeff Winger attends a crappy community college after he's been ratted out for having a fake college degree. While trying to get into the pants of a classmate, he ends up joining an unlikely family in the form of a neurotic study group. And unlike most sitcoms on TV these days, Community's writing staff knows what the hell it's doing, and is completely unafraid to try new, creative things. What started as a simple show about a selfish guy trying to get laid exploded into a metafictional, satirical exploration rooted strongly in its increasingly interesting characters. It's like Arrested Development that way, and also just like AD, the show is the best thing on television that nobody's watching, and critic's will like to remind you that as much as they can.

During 2010, Community shoved out the best half-hours of television of the year, be they small, character-driven bottle episodes or grand, over-the-top genre parodies. Each episode is unpredictable and inventive, with the writers taking new strides to allow each episode to feel fresh and not bleed into one another. It delivers on the laughs while still being surprisingly sentimental (sometimes even dramatic) and fair to its characters. When the show wants to deliver you a message, it will, but what's so great about it is that it will acknowledge the hell out of it without seeming derivative or pretentious. It's self-aware and satirical, but the reason it stays fresh is that it's able to be so while still being unpredictable and honest. And funny. Really freaking funny.

BEST 2010 EPISODE: "Contemporary American Poultry" (April 22, 2010) - "Contemporary American Poultry" was Community's first dive into over-the-top genre parodies that have defined other outstanding 2010 episodes such as "Modern Warfare" and "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design." In it, the gang become tired of the cafeteria's shortage of chicken fingers and descend into a GoodFellas-inspired conspiracy iron-fisted by Abed. This episode is flawless. Just going to get that out of the way. Maybe I'm biased because GoodFellas is one of my favorite movies, but screw it. This episode is one of the perfect examples of what Community is all about--it's covered in hilarious, over-the-top parody, but at its core, it's an examination of one of the show's most complex characters, Abed. The episode is loaded with sharp directing and great lines; hell, this is the one where Troy remarks, "If God were edible, not that I'm Catholic, but if it were cool to eat God, he'd be a chicken finger." I might as well stop there. Community is the best show on television, and nothing proves that better than "Contemporary American Poultry."

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And there you have it. I'll be doing more of these, because they're fun (yet admittedly exhausting), and because it's a perfect way to round out the year in pop-culture. 'Till next time, happy holidays and keep on keeping it, keepers.

In Memoriam: Irvin Kershner

This blog entry is effectively dedicated to Irvin Kershner. Known far and wide as the director of The Empire Strikes Back, one of the greatest works of science fiction put on screen and the best installment of the epic Star Wars saga, Kershner died today, November 29, 2010, after struggling for years against an unknown illness.

In Kershner's hands, the Star Wars series surpassed even the level of quality of A New Hope; a revolutionary film, it established the old cliche that sequels must be darker and edgier than their predecessor, but unlike others, this actually improved it, allowing the series to feel like a more mature, serious work of fiction than the admittedly flighty adventure romp that was Hope (NOTE: I am not criticizing the original film, fanboys; it is without a doubt one of the greatest films ever made, I am just noting that it is lighter than the second film). 

There's something just really beautiful that Kershner was able to do with Empire; it's hard to describe, but the damp, underlit sequences boasting the ever-presence of smoke, mist, and fog, just breathes a level of fear and terror. Even in the scenes on Hoth, Kershner made the lush, absolutely breathtaking image of the snowy landscapes and bright white aesthetic make you feel cold (sorry), unable to guess what was about the happen. It's the marks of a thriller being used on a space opera; it's genius.

Scary shit.

It was almost unprecedented. Kershner showed just such a knack for crafting a superbly effective genre film backed with professionalism and craft, but nothing he had done before had ever been particularly well-known or even close to the level of iconic/blockbuster status of the multi-billion dollar Star Wars franchise. Indeed, when Kershner as attached to the direct the sequel to the then-highest grossing film of all time Star Wars, he was surprised and asked creator George Lucas "Of all the younger guys around, all the hot-shots, why me?"; Lucas's response was, "Well, because you know everything a Hollywood director is supposed to know, but you're not Hollywood."

^^ Not Hollywood.

Kershner brought a new level of depth, and being a master of character development, he was able to reestablish and mature the preexisting (and already awesome) characters, breathing new life to them with flawless timing and stage direction. This, of course, couldn't have been possible without the help of co-screenwriters Leigh Brackett and Lawrence Kasdan, but like any great director, Kershner was able to take the script and find new levels of brilliance to add to it and the film.

 

Kershner knew that the focus of the film had to be the characters, and so he found the simplest ways to allow them to drive the emotionality of their scenes. He noted once, "I like to fill up the frame with the characters' faces. There's nothing more interesting than the landscape of the human face." When Kershner made Empire, he was able to find the fear and terror of scenes not only through mere visuals, but also through the way he toyed with the characters. When the famous plot twist occurs, revealing Darth Vader to be Luke's father, Kershner focuses the direction of the scene not on the characters' surroundings, but on the characters themselves. There's a sense of shock and horror, combined, found merely by showing one man's horrified reaction.

Irvin Kershner shall always be remembered as a master director, and even though it's been 30 years since The Empire Strikes Back graced the movie theater (and our heart's) his handprint on the film shall always remain. Empire shall always be remembered as one of cinema's greatest achievements, and Kershner shall always be remembered as the one who made it what it was. R.I.P. Mr. Kershner. To say you'll be missed would be saying too little.

Top 5 Poorly Received Movies I Love

To quote Dirty Harry: "Opinions are like assholes; everyone's got one." Or, if you wanna be cliched or "not obscene" (both overrated), "Everyone's entitled to their own opinion." Either way, the truth of the matter is that everyone has and is allowed to have opinions. To make decisions and judgments by themselves and for themselves. So in the viewpoint of film critique, it is well-known that each individual critic can either love or hate a film. Nobody ever agrees with each other 100%*.

(*Except, of course, in the case of Samuel L. Jackson; all mere mortals just gotta agree with that badass, even if he says he likes Leprechaun, or he'll strike down upon them with great vengeance and furious anger.)

He's a cloud-laying motherfucker, motherfucker!

Now while I myself am not a professional critic, I do write several reviews, on both here and Rotten Tomatoes, and therefore I consider myself at least an unofficial dabbler into cinema critique. And so like the "for reals" film critics (and, as demonstrated from the two quotes above, everybody) I have my own set of opinions jeered towards certain cinematic projects. In other words: I like movies others hate.

This can honestly be frustrating sometimes; you're reading about a movie you like, and see countless amounts of criticism from critics and the public, while you find yourself unable to see the flaws they notice, or if you do, you can't find it in yourself to judge the whole movie on them. Still, though, I don't particularly give a damn when others disagree with my views on a film, and so I stick by my opinions of it. And that's what this specific post is all about: Folks, I present to you my list of the Top 5 Poorly Received Movies I Love.

5. Space Jam (1996)

"...And that's where babies come from, Daffy."

Back when VHS's were still, ya know, actually used, I recall always going down to the library and renting out Space Jam when I was bored and had nothing to watch. I've never truly understood what people dislike about this film: in my opinion, it's fun, goofy, and actually sometimes quite funny. Okay, Michael Jordan's dishing out an almost Shaq-in-Kazaam-level performance of blandness, and there's some obnoxious product placement, but when you look passed that, there's a hell of a lot to enjoy from this flick.

The film's under-the-radar barbs and sly, tongue-in-cheek (and very accurate) portrayal of Michael Jordan's post-basketball "career" lead for a whole mess of fun and laughter. It's still a surprise to me today how much enjoyment I can squeeze from this movie, and how funny it can honestly be. The rubber-house animation is polished with excellent voice performances from the likes of Billy West, Dee Baker, etc., and of course the antics of the Looney Tunes are always a blast. And like I said, the depiction of Michael Jordan's life in the live-action scenes are surprisingly (but pleasingly) entertaining. Plus, that song is so damn catchy...

This is a really fun--and sometimes funny--movie, and I still can't seem to see what people dislike about it. Tomatometer rating: 36%

4. Ninja Assassin (2009)

"DAMN PIRATES!"

The minute I saw the trailer for this film I knew it was gonna be a badass popcorn flick filled with badass ninjas doing badass ninja stuff. In other words, badass. I was effectively sold when one trailer featured one of the coolest taglines I think cinema has ever given us: "One ninja was harmed in the making of this movie. The rest were killed."

Apparently, though, film critics didn't see the film for the badass romp that it was, and gave it poor reviews, chastising it for being "overly serious." But that's where it boggles me: critics will always complain that popcorn films lack any and all substance, but when a popcorn flick actually puts depth and drama into it, they complain. What the hell? What's with the double standard, movie critics? 

That being said, Ninja Assassin is a movie I love in a similar fashion to my love of Space Jam; it's just really, really fun to watch. I was cheering and hooting my way through this movie when I first saw it on a (completely legally obtained) burned DVD at home, loving every ridiculously violent death scene, every martial arts feat performed by Rizu (played brilliantly by the always enjoyable [and badass] Rain), every sly one-liner, and every emotionally fulfilling character arc. You may laugh when I say that last bit, but the movie honestly does contain a surprising amount of depth; you care for the characters, and you really want Rizu to succeed.

Brilliantly bloody, badass, and fun, this popcorn flick is also a love of mine because it contains a surprising amount of depth and really likable (and, yeah, badass) characters. And did I mention how badass it was? Tomatometer rating: 25%.

3. The Man in the Iron Mask (1998)

A scene from an unproduced The Mask prequel?

Here's another case of that double standard film critics demonstrated above. 1998's The Man in the Iron Mask (a remake of the 1939 movie of the same name) was poorly received upon it's release because it turned out not to be a swashbuckling popcorn flick that they all expected it to be. Or at least, it turned out be more than that. The film has depth, riveting performances, and thrilling action, but apparently, the critics didn't like that.

The cast assembled in this piece is extraordinary. Leading the brilliant line-up is Leonardo DiCaprio, who plays both the titular "Man in the Iron Mask", Phillipe, and his twin brother, King Louis XIV. The two are on opposite sides of the moral spectrum, with Phillipe being the compassionate, honest man, and Louis being the militaristic bastard with no respect for anyone but himself. Meanwhile, the now-retired Three (or, really, Four) Musketeers are portrayed by Jeremy Irons, Gabriel Brynes, Gerard Depardieu, and John Malkovich.

Malkovich Malkovich? Malkovich Malkovich.

Each of these performances are stellar, particularly DiCaprio (who, by playing for two, is producing double his usual excellence) and Depardieu, whose drunken, sexual antics are hysterical. There's also this really powerful atmosphere that caries this film throughout, with strong thematic elements on brotherhood, honor, and loyalty.

Why critics would dislike a film featuring strong performances, depth, and compelling action thrown in baffles me to this day, but I know I do, and always will, love The Man in the Iron Mask. Tomatometer rating: 31%.

2. Madagascar (2005)

My God: It's the '08 Presidential Election!

Another seriously baffling one on display here: Madagascar. Critics disliked this film for being "hit-and-miss", but they couldn't be more wrong. Every joke in this movie is pitch-perfect hilarity. Like I said in my Picking On... post for DreamWorks Animation, I actually find Madagascar superior to both Shrek and Shrek 2, which are not only considered DreamWorks' finest hours, but also two of the greatest animated films ever produced.

"...Heavy."

Like I said, what makes this film so great is how hysterical it is. The laughs in this film are constant, whether they're derived from wordplay, sight gags, the dialogue, or the hilarious interplay between the brilliant voice cast (which features especially strong voice-over performances from Ben Stiller and David Schwimmer). Even the somewhat-cheap animal/zoo jokes and puns littered throughout the movie makes it's own, allowing for a plethora of hilarity.

Meanwhile, the animation in outstanding. Purposely blocky and cartoonish, yet somehow also smooth and rounded, it's like if the animation for Fanboy and Chum Chum or the CGI-Timmy scenes during Nick's Jimmy/Timmy Power Hour weren't complete garbage. Aside from strong visuals and a wildly entertaining screenplay, the film also features a strong story dependent on the strength of its characters.

The film's consistently hilarious, the characters are well-written, the animation's outstanding; film critics must've been drunk when they labeled this underrated classic a "hit-or-miss" farce. Tomatometer rating: 55%.

1. Across the Universe (2007)

Funny, I looked the same when I read the reviews for this movie.

And now, for the big one. Ladies and germs, here it is: Across the Universe. This is not only the number one Poorly Received Movies I Love, it's also one of my favorite films of all time and considered one of the prime example of "Love-it-or-Hate-it" in cinema of recent years.

Let's start, I believe, with what critics complained about: as Rotten Tomatoes writes, the detractors declared it a "cliched love story" with "uninteresting characters". Another thing I've noticed people criticize it for are its apparently nonsensical nature with far to many Big Lipped Alligator Moments to allow for an easy understanding of the goings-on of the movie's (excuse my pun) universe.

In reality, though, Across the Universe is an overwhelmingly beautifully constructed musical drama that delivers on every level. For those who don't know, it is a love story built around the iconic music of the greatest artists who ever lived, The Beatles. Over thirty of their songs are sung throughout it, and even more are referenced, either through the dialouge, or through the characters. And since The Beatles' music (particularly in their early With The Beatles-A Hard Day's Night phase) is largely devoted to young love, the music crafts the story of a poignant romance in the '60s at the heat of the Vietnam War.

Julie Taymor directed this movie and it shows; Taymor has become recognized far and wide for producing beautiful, awe-inspiring visuals and allowing them to be tell a story in themselves. With Taymor, Across the Universe becomes 133 minutes of mindblowing visuals and compelling beauty. The screenplay creates a cast of wonderfully written characters, from the complicated, charming Jude, to the rebellious slacker Max, to the Jimi Hendrix-escue JoJo. The hardships, the good times, the changes, these characters face and deal with are told with passion and emotion, and you go through everything alongside them.

'Nam tends to have this effect on people.

The performances in this movie are stellar, particularly from Jim Sturgess as Jude and Joe Anderson as Max, whose evolution from a slacker to a physically-and-emotionally scarred war veteran is emotionally visceral and carries a hell of a lot of weight (oh, and whoever can guess what song that's a reference to will get +100 Beatlemania points). The supporting characters are all rather compelling, and Lucy's character is the perfect choice for references to the anti-war protests of the era and of course John Lennon's own prominent promotions of peace (yeah for alliteration!)

Thankfully, to couple with their great performances, the actors all have amazing singing voices. Every cover in this movie is outstanding, especially Anderson's depressing rendition of "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" and Dana Fuchs' powerful cover of "Helter Sketler." I think the only one in the film I'm not particularly fond of is T.V. Carpio's version of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand". It's not that it's poorly sung, because Carpio actually does a great job, it's just I've always been frustrated when people interpret "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" as some soulful reflection on restrained or restricted love, when it's really just a cheerful ballad about young love in its purest.

Across the Universe is an emotional, powerful experience filled with mind-blowing visuals and some damn fine performances. The music of The Beatles and the atmosphere of the era allows for the film to soar past the normal musical-romance genre, and becomes more of a drama about love, peace, and life then a standard romantic story. Critics hated it for whatever reason (sans Roger Ebert, God Bless Him), but I sure as hell loved it. And, judging by it's 84% rating on RT's community section, I'm not the only one who thought critics made a big mistake here. Tomatometer rating: 53%.

------

So there you have it, my list of the Top 5 Poorly Received Films I Love. If you agree, that's great, and if not, then good on, 'cause like I said, everyone is allowed their own opinions. Plus, without differing opinions, then everyone ends up being the same. Now that would be something I think we can all agree would suck.

Why The New 'Winnie the Pooh' Movie Is The Best Thing Ever

♪ I gotta get up, I gotta get going... ♪

I'm pretty sure the last Winnie the Pooh movie I saw was 2000's The Tigger Movie, which--considering Winnie the Pooh is just, like, the embodiment of wholesomeness and innocence, and therefore brings out my inner-child--totally had me Tearbending. And the recent trailer for the new Pooh movie, simply entitled Winnie the Pooh, had pretty much everybody who saw it Tearbending too.

Why? Because it's warm, and nostalgic, and sentimental, and wholesome, and innocent, and sincere, and brilliant, and beautiful, and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT'S AMAZING. I've seen many trailers in my life, folks, and this one is seriously one of very few that show literally no flaws. Why, I could honestly do an entire blog post about just how awesome it is and why the movie itself is essentially the greatest thing ever. If only I had a blog...

Oh wait.

Winnie the Pooh is the first canon theatrical Pooh movie in 35 years, and let me tell you, judging from the trailer, it's gonna have been worth the wait. I mentioned that many people cried watching the trailer, and that's because it's just so nostalgic. It's a true tribute to not only Winnie the Pooh, but also childhood and classic Disney Animation in general. Every bit of this trailer is wholesome and nostalgic and simply beautiful. From the simplest thing, the trailer draws you in and tickles your inner child.

I never thought a balloon hitting a bell could be so beautiful.

And perhaps the most severe examples of why Winnie the Pooh has got me more excited than, like, anything, can be summarized in four words: It's. All. Hand-Drawn. Everything. No CGI (a la that atrocious Playhouse Disney show My Friends Tigger and Pooh), no live-action, just honest, traditional animation. And not just hand-drawn animation either, but gorgeous hand-drawn animation. Burny Mattison is the lead storyboard artist for this movie (he's been working on Pooh since '74 and did several other classic Disney work) and it shows: the style and craft of the art is reminiscent of the way The Sword in the Stone was drawn. It's impeccable. 

Even the honey is hand-drawn!

Hopefully this will be a wake-up call to animation studios. Together with last year's The Princess and the Frog, it could show them that animation can be hand-drawn, story-driven, and successful. The problem with the latter, however, is the unfortunate fact that Winnie the Pooh is coming out the same day as Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part II (July 15, 2011). We all know that's going to be number 1 in the world and probably pass the billion mark, which is fine, because I too will be flocking to see it at midnight. 

However, though, this means Pooh will face a lot of competition from it, and so if it's not successful, studios might take that as a sign that hand-drawn is dead, which is bullcrap, because a) it's not and b) it's the studio's fault, not the film, because of their poor scheduling. Alas, there is still hope that it will be successful, and if so, we might see a sudden change in the animation industry as it takes a return-to-form. 'Till then, I'm looking forward to Winnie the Pooh to a degree only previously met by Inception. It's seriously just so amazing.

I close with finally linking to you you the trailer. See for yourself its nostalgic, wholesome wonder.

See  you soon, Pooh. See you soon.

Picking On...DreamWorks Animation

"They're just not biting today, y'know, Huck?"

Hello, (hopefully) faithful readers, and welcome to a segment-type deal on "...And You Smell Like One Too" entitled "Picking On". In blogs labeled such, I will personally analyze to the best of my ability a specific subject or topic. Today's "Picking On" entry is about--in honor of the recent release of Megamind--DreamWorks Animation. Having been around for about ten years now, this specific animation studio has become known for many things, and in this blog entry, I'll Pick On as much of those things as I feel like, dammit!

So from my understanding, DreamWorks Animation was officially founded back in 2000 as a business division from the already-existing DreamWorks SKG. Before that, though, DW had created two animated films which I suppose can technically be called DK Animation's first projects: 1998's Antz, a hilarious CGI comedy that actually holds an effing 98% Tomatometer rating, and 1998's The Prince of Egypt, a beautifully traditionally-animated epic that also blended some CGI. 

Once officially launched, DWA produced The Road to El Dorado and Chicken Run; the first was flat but tolerable, while the latter was a work of British genius that, as an animation buff, I hold the utmost professional respect to. The label finally made their mark with 2001's Shrek, which, while racking up huge bucks, rave reviews, and even an Oscar, also established the stepping stones for not only the rest of DWA's films, but also the majority of CGI cartoons that would come in the next decade.

So, uh, good job...Yeah...

So how did one little animated film about farting ogres and talking donkeys produce such a myriad of imitators to the point that it could be effectively called "revolutionary"? It's basically the same principal as the abundance of Home Alone clones back in the '90s: movie studios saw that what one movie (in this case, Shrek) was doing made crap-loads of money, they decided that doing what that movie did would make them crap-loads of money, and everyone would be happy. Meanwhile, DWA themselves saw the successful formula, and it became a focal point of its productions.

So, what the hell is The Formula? Simply compiled:

• Celebrity voice actors in the majority of roles
• Fart/poop jokes, and general scatological humor
• Pop-culture references
• Risque barbs
• General satire

"Did you get all that?"

To put it in simpler terms, animated films everywhere began establishing themselves as children's comedies that were loaded with stuff "for teh growed-ups". Sure animation had done this before, but when Shrek got released, the technique spread like wild fire. The results of this from other studios varied--for example, 2005's Robots, which was good, compared to 2009's Planet 51, which, uh, should speak for itself--and the same could be said about DWA's next efforts too.

Shrek 2 was perhaps even better than its predecessor, and in terms of box-office intake, it was massively more successful, grossing over 900 million dollars worldwide. The Formula wasn't being abused enough to be tired, the gags were fresh, and the characters were likable and well-written. Most people would say their first CGI stinkers were Madagascar and Shark Tale, but to be completely honest, I absolutely loved Madagascar, probably even more than any Shrek, and I found Shark Tale to be brilliant. In fact, the only DWA film I completely disliked was Shrek the Third; it was at this point, I believe, The Formula finally collapsed on itself, while the characters became simply too tired.

Nice going.

Now in 2010, DWA is still following some aspects of The Formula--such as the all-star voice cast--but has basically made its attempts to stray away from the expected and try and be fresh. Pop-culture references are still abound in many places, but it's much less than it was in, say, Bee Movie (which I think is the last time DWA used The Formula and still made acceptable work). This year's How To Train Your Dragon is perhaps the epitome of the company's new success; it holds a whopping 98% on Rotten Tomatoes (which DWA hasn't seen since Antz) and is raved by pretty much everyone I know that's seen it.

Now with Megamind out, DWA has continued to depart from The Formula, going more for a general satire and focusing more on its characters. The film's basically being labeled as "could've been better", with most of the praise going to the celebrity voice actors and the animation. Still, DreamWorks Animation will always be respected in my eyes as a source for genius, and despite its unfortunate creation of The Formula that has bogged down so many animated projects of recent times, there's still a lot to love.

 And a lot to Pick On.

Megamind is out in theaters now.

Review: Planet Sheen - "Pilot"

Notice the subtle parallels to the Jimmy Neutron title card?

Back in July of 2009, Nickelodeon announced that they picked up a spin-off series of The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (which was an underrated work of genius, IMO) that would be entitled Planet Sheen. Now it's out and racking up some very sizable ratings for Nick, but the question is then raised for this blogger: Is it any good? Well, since I've got nothing better to do, I'm gonna answer that question for myself as I review the pilot episode of Planet Sheen.

So the premise of Planet Sheen is basic: Sheen ignores Jimmy's warnings and pops into one of the boy genius' rocket ships (which I don't see the point of, considering over the course of the franchise, Jimmy's gotten, like, 6 different space ships; why he needs another one is beyond me, though I assume he's consummating for something), plays around with some buttons, and winds up on a mysterious planet known as Zeenu. Now a fish-out-of-water, Sheen tries to adapt to the planet's oddities, serves the Emperor, and pisses the hell out Doorkus, who is established as our antagonist 2 seconds into his first appearance.

Clearly a harmless girl scout.

The pilot episode establishes everything the pilot should establish, which is good. Now though the premise seems very tired, and the very concept of a spin-off always draws many exasperated sighs (same as sequels or reboots), Planet Sheen is still from the same minds of Jimmy Neutron, and it shows. The style and presentation is very different, but the humor is still rather sharp. I found myself laughing consistently throughout this episode, including during scenes involving a giant green monster playing the ukulele, Sheen tapping on the fourth wall when he acknowledges the "similarities" between the language of Zeenu and English, and Doorkus' British sidekick.  

O Entertainment is still producing the animation for this spin-off. Over the years they've been known to deliver quality CGI in their programmings, and while not exactly Pixar-level, it's solid enough to impress me. The animation's especially impressive when you compare this to 2001's original Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, which sorta resembled the graphics of a less glitchy Tony Hawk game.

You can't help but wonder while watching this if Sheen really was the best choice to make a spin-off out of. On Jimmy Neutron, Sheen was established as one of Jimmy's best friends; he's a well-meaning, dim-witted child with an obsession with the Ultra Lord franchise and a lot of heart. On display here, though, is the same character, but with less heart and much more stupidity. A common downfall of a lot of modern cartoons is the default choice of making characters really stupid to get a laugh. This works a lot, but as shows like The Simpsons and Phineas and Ferb have shown us, you have to ground your character's idiocy and establish likable, caring traits in them. I wish there was more sincerity in this new Sheen.

"Jimmy, are you implying something here?"

I suppose the characters are my only serious problem with Planet Sheen. Some are good, such as that aforementioned randomly-British sidekick of Dorkus, but a lot of them just seem a bit forced and contrived. The emperor's only there for the short jokes and taking Sheen's very wrong interpretations of Earth life as factual. Dorkus, like I said, is just so obviously the villain the character designers should've put a swirly mustache on him; he's also a practical wall for the tired "silly name for a bad guy" gags that have been done much better on shows like Dave the Barbarian. Oh, and I'm pretty positive he's actually Squidward. Sheen's love interest is a yodeling Na'vi, we've got an alien version of Carl (who I really can't complain about because Carl's probably one of the best cartoon characters of this decade), and of course Sheen has a monkey chimp sidekick named Nesmith who I swear is the secret love child of someone from Space Chimps and Darwin from The Wild Thornberrys.

An illicit affair.

So really, the only major flaw in the show is its reliance on predictable tropes which construct both the characters and a few hit-and-miss gags that really bug me. The writing's not as sharp as Jimmy Neutron, and the new characters (and some of the old) are just hollow cutouts of other cartoons, but overall, I found Planet Sheen to be a very solid half-hour of entertainment. The pilot's not the best, but it's good enough. Plus, from the later episodes I've seen, the writing improves and makes up for the stale characters.

Grading: B+